


The Reading Material Series

by ferryberry



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Format, Bondage Fun, Comedy, F/F, POV Third Person Limited, Romantic Comedy, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-08
Updated: 2010-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-07 05:34:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4251267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ferryberry/pseuds/ferryberry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Canon thru S1E3. Quinn decides to return Rachel's glee notes to her, and instead finds some interesting reading material.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reading Material

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. All belongs to Glee writers and creators.

It was one of those days. Quinn had woken up feeling cranky, but she'd hoped the fact that it was nice and sunny out for once would help. And then it started storming, so that went out the window, and her mood started to reflect the weather more and more throughout the day.

Santana and Brittany were being particularly giggly and grabby today, which always annoyed her to no end, and she told them to get a room. They did. Well, sort of. They disappeared into the storage closet and didn't come back out until it was lunchtime. Puck wouldn't stop leering at her and trying to grab her ass; she knew it had been a mistake to sleep with him, but luckily she put a stop to his bullshit by stomping on his big toe. He was still limping when it was time for glee.

And Finn would not. Stop. Whining. The whole day, all she heard was how 'Rachel won't talk to me' and 'Quinn, you're kind of grouchy' and 'why won't you let me touch your breasts? Just once. I've been so patient.' She'd wanted to stomp on his toe, too.

 _Men_ , she thought irritably. Bastards, the lot of them. As much as she liked Mr. Schue, he was sometimes, too. All through glee, he kept lecturing them on the importance of presentation and showing up late and…other things she couldn't remember because she almost fell asleep halfway through the spiel. Of course, that had been the case for everyone.

Except Man Hands. She'd been diligently writing notes throughout the whole damn thing. Quinn had to give her credit for her focus. And her ability to listen to people drone on without wanting to shoot herself. Maybe that's why she got along with Finn so well….

Actually, it looked like Stubbles had dropped her notes on her way out. Quinn sighed and heaved to her feet. She had to go home sometime, she supposed, and now was as good a time as any. She couldn't believe she was seriously considering doing the Yeti a favor and saving the notes from the janitor's broom, but it wouldn't kill her to be nice this once. She hoped.

Quinn slung her backpack over her shoulder as she bent and swept up the sheets from the floor, and she was surprised to find that they weren't notebook paper. Maybe they weren't Berry's notes after all. She turned them over to glance at the first page, just in case, and then her eyebrows shot up in surprise.

' _XxX41myeohmye14XxX's Sex Questionnaire_.' _Berry_ was filling out a sex survey? During _glee_? Quinn's cheeks flamed red, though she didn't know why. It wasn't as though she wasn't aware that people had sex. Hell, she'd had sex. Not very good sex, and only the once, but still. She must've been disturbed by the thought of the likes of Man Hands having sex, she decided. Still….

She glanced around the empty room, almost expecting someone to leap out at her for doing this. When not a shadow moved, she took a breath and looked at the first question.

' _1\. Name?_ That's a rather personal question, don't you think? No matter. I can lie if I want to. So my name is….'

Something that looked suspiciously like 'Barbra Streisand' was scribbled out and Berry had put 'Mad Libby' instead. Quinn snickered despite herself and, with another surreptitious glance around the room, went on to number two.

' _2\. Reason for taking this?_ Well, I'm bored, to be perfectly honest with you. I've never heard Mr. Schuester go on about shoes this much. Even Kurt is falling asleep. And I don't like filling these things out on the internet. This is much safer.'

Well, this wasn't so bad so far. She could always stop reading if it got too graphic or something, but Berry was actually kind of amusing her, which was more than she could say for anyone else today. So, Quinn sank onto the piano bench, tossing her backpack to the floor, and read on interestedly.

' _3\. Sexual orientation (if you know)?_ First of all, how could anyone not know? "Hello, my name is Bob and I'm not sure if I like you, because, see, I could be gay  or straight"? I don't think so. Everyone at least has an idea. Second, to answer your question, I am bi.'

Quinn almost choked on the breath she'd just taken. Berry was _bi_? How had she not known this? Oh, right, because she practically undressed Quinn's _boyfriend_ with her eyes every time they saw each other. Still. Berry was willing to have sex with a woman…Quinn's cheeks darkened again and, again, she didn't know why. She put it to disgust at the idea of two women getting it on and forced herself to move on.

' _4\. Which sex are the majority of your fantasies about?_ Well, I must say, I'm disappointed in the placement of this question. Obviously, if someone answered number 3 with "straight," the majority of their fantasies are about the opposite sex. Unless they're extremely confused. However, in my case, I would have to say that most of mine are about women. Well, woman.'

Quinn almost fell off the piano bench. This was starting to get a little weird. She felt kind of…dirty. But it was like a train wreck. She wanted to look away, but she couldn't. So, cheeks burning, she kept reading.

' _Have you ever:_

 _5\. …kissed someone?_ Of course. I would hope anyone taking a sex questionnaire has at least done that.

 _6\. Had sex?_ You'll never know. Although Noah would probably tell you we have. He's a liar; don't listen to him. The farthest we went was dry humping, thank you very much.'

Quinn scowled at the page. Well, that was the biggest non-answer she'd ever heard…or read…or seen. Whatever. And Berry knew the phrase dry hump? And _used_ it? Quinn's cheeks were turning crimson.

' _7\. Dry humped?_ See above.

 _8\. Been walked in on?_ There are these handy things called locks. I have one, and I don't use it sparingly. Although, there was that one time the janitor walked into the storage closet. We told him it was a dream when he came to, though, so maybe it doesn't count?

 _9\. Had someone watch?_ That would be incredibly disturbing. No matter what Noah thinks.

 _10\. Watched others have sex?_ Have you ever considered therapy? Seriously, I have the number of an excellent therapist on hand. Let me know.

 _11\. Made out at a dance?_ Yes, but then he threw up and the moment was ruined. Fortunately, it was not on me. Despite what certain cheerleaders have said.'

Quinn frowned at the page. So that rumor _wasn't_ true. She'd heard a million stories (and created some of her own) about the incident, and it was kind of a…relief to know it wasn't what happened. She tried not to over-think that.

' _12\. Had sex at a dance?_ Most certainly not! I have standards, you know, and public places are not appropriate venues to do that. No matter what Aphasia thinks.'

Aphasia? Who the hell was Aphasia? Was she the woman Rach— _Berry_ —fantasized about? Wait a minute…Aphasia was from that Jane Adams Academy or whatever. Berry dated a JD? Quinn scowled. Did she have any idea how unsafe that was? Wait. Why did she care? She wasn't reading this to worry about Berry's dating choices. In fact, she wasn't sure why she was reading it anymore.

' _13\. Gone to a hotel just to have sex?_ Well, that was  his intent.

 _14\. Had sex on your parents's bed?_ EW!

 _15\. Had sex with your parents home, without them knowing?_ Of course not. And no, I've never done it  with them knowing, either. Again, standards. Think about getting some.

 _16\. Had sex the first time you met someone?_ No. I'll admit there may have been touching. But it was not my fault. Singing gets me hot, and she wouldn't stop singing Destiny's Child songs.

 _17\. Had sex at a movie?_ On the off-chance that a police officer ever reads this, no.'

Quinn stared at the words, reading them over and over. Berry had sex at a movie theater. For some reason, she was starting to feel…squirmy. She shifted and cleared her throat. And who on earth had she had a fondling session with the first time she met them? How did they know to sing to her like that? _Would you stop thinking about this? It doesn't matter_ , she scolded, shaking her head.

' _18\. Had sex in a public place?_ Didn't we already cover this? Really, you should've had someone proofread this before posting it on the internet. By the way, the movie thing was just the one time. I swear, I have never had sex in a public place otherwise. Unless that storage closet counts.

 _19\. Had sex outdoors?_ Do you have any idea how uncomfortable that would be? Twigs, leaves,  bugs. Not to mention the grass stains. It's a horrible mess.

 _20\. Had sex while driving?_ Well,  I wasn't driving, and we weren't actually having sex. Technically. But I totally give her props for not crashing.'

There was a groan in the room, and it took Quinn a minute to realize that it came from _her._ She blushed and shifted in the spot some more, trying to alleviate some of the sudden pressure in her southerly areas. There was no way she was getting turned on reading about Rach— _Berry's_ —sexcapades. That was just…filthy wrong. She should stop reading.

' _21\. Had sex with chocolate sauce, honey, etc.?_ Sadly, yes. Little advice. Do  not think that if you fall asleep afterward that when you wake up that chocolate won't be stuck to you like gum to a desk, or that it won't have superglued you and your partner together. Also, ripping quickly? Doesn't hurt less.

 _22\. Had sex sitting?_ Aphasia climbed on top of  me, okay? I did not ask her to interrupt my glee assignment with her nudity.

 _23\. Had sex standing?_ No. Damn it.

 _24\. Had sex with a virgin?_ Aphasia, a virgin? Surely you jest.

 _25\. Had sex with bondage?_ I told her NO. You know what? Never,  ever go to sleep period. She will have brought handcuffs without your knowledge and slip them on you while you're counting sheep.'

 _Oh, my God. Why is this turning me on?_ Quinn glanced around the room again, wishing she weren't at school reading this. If she hadn't been deathly afraid of a janitor walking in, she would've relieved herself of the sudden throbbing between her legs at the thought of Rachel cuffed to a headboard. Quinn's headboard. Naked. Sweaty. Legs…. _Sick, sick, sick! You're not even gay, Fabray! Stop reading!_

' _26\. Had sex with more than one person at a time?_ No matter how much Noah begs, I am not going to be nude with Santana or Brittany in the same room. That's just disgusting.'

Quinn drooped. If Rachel wouldn't want to be nude with Santana or Brittany, then she could guess who else she wouldn't want to see naked. Which didn't matter, because Quinn was straight, and this was not turning her on. She was not going to keep reading. No way in hell.

' _27\. Had sex with both a man and a woman (at different times)?_ This question makes no sense. How can you have sex with both a man and a woman at different times?

 _28\. Had sex with both a man and a woman (at the same time)?_ Again, no matter how much Noah begs. It's not happening.

 _29\. Had sex with 3 or more in the same night?_ Do I look like a hooker to you?

 _30\. Teased someone successfully for over an hour?_ I'm suddenly feeling the urge to pat myself on the back.

 _31\. Done a striptease?_ Yes, and it was quite effective, if I do say so myself.'

"Oh, God," Quinn moaned aloud, and then she clapped her hand over her mouth. This was just filthy of her. She was going straight to hell.

' _32\. Seen a striptease at a public establishment?_ Of course not. I'm not even old enough to get into one of those establishments. Besides, if I wanted to see a striptease, I would get back together with Noah or Aphasia. They can't  stop taking their clothes off.'

She broke up with them? _You don't care. You don't. You're straight. You're with Finn. There is no freaking way you're getting turned on by Rachel_ fucking _Berry._

' _33\. Bought sexual aids?_ On the off-chance that one of my dads ever read this, no.

 _34\. Used sexual aids?_ Not with someone else….'

She groaned again, crossing her legs.

' _35\. Seduced someone?_ I'm working on it. But it's difficult when she thinks I want her boyfriend (laughable, really, but I guess it could be confusing when he's always standing there with her, and he takes up a lot of space). Although, I did see her staring at my legs the other day (and she's doing it right now), which are my greatest weapons, so progress?'

Quinn had to read that a couple times again. Or five, but who was counting? She was the only girl in glee club with a boyfriend besides Tina. And Artie did not take up a whole lot of space. Also, she was pretty sure Tina didn't think Rachel wanted Artie. That would be weird. Could Rachel really mean…? But she didn't remember staring at her legs. Did she do that?

' _36\. MADE your fantasy come true?_ Again, I am  working on it. You can't just jump on someone like that and expect things to click into place. These things take time. Which is all right, because she is so sexy it's worth the effort.'

Quinn's blush turned almost purple and she whimpered from the wet discomfort down below.

' _37\. Caused someone who was straight or gay to become bisexual?_ Working on it. Sexual orientation shifts are tricky, but I think in her case we just need to trigger a realization, and then it'll work itself out.

_Favorite:_

_38\. Position?_ I will let you know when I've tried all of them.

 _39\. Dirty phrase?_ I don't think I have one. Noah was a grunter; Aphasia just liked me to call her "bitch," disturbing as that is. Good thing I escaped.

 _40\. Fantasy?_ Me, a piano, a certain blonde cheerleader. You get where I'm going with this.'

Quinn almost choked on her own spit this time. Rachel Berry wanted to do it with her on a piano? For some reason, that thought was turning her on more than anything so far, and she eyed the piano with timid interest. Her fingers itched to travel up her own thigh, but she forced herself to keep reading, just in case Rachel said more things about her.

' _Last Few:_

 _41\. Did you like this questionnaire?_ Well, I'm not bored anymore, at least. A little horny, maybe.

 _42\. Will you pass this on?_ No. I don't think anyone needs to see this. I may burn it when I'm done, actually. Although, that's not ecologically correct, so it'll go in the Recycled Paper bin instead.'

Guilt was prominent on Quinn's growing list of emotions, but arousal was putting up a good fight, particularly when she thought about what she could've done to help Rachel when she left glee horny. She took deep breaths, trying to convince herself it wasn't happening, but the aching between her legs, the hot wetness she felt soaking her panties, and the wrinkled pages in her hand were all strong evidence to the contrary. And then the worst thing possible happened.

"…I just forgot something back at school."

Much to her embarrassment, Quinn flipped. She leapt out of the chair and the questionnaire flew out of her hand and she bolted to the other side of the piano. Whether she was trying to get as far from that survey as she could or she was trying to hide or both, she had no idea. All she knew was that she was panting and clenching her hands together as tight as she could, and she probably looked approximately the color of a strawberry when Rachel came striding in, hanging up her phone as she did so.

Quinn had to cross her legs and bite her lip to keep from whimpering, because seeing Rachel after all these revelations was apparently a recipe for disaster. Rachel jumped when she saw her, but then she smiled and clutched her chest.

"Quinn, you scared me," she said, sounding relieved. "I didn't expect anyone to still be here."

She couldn't speak, so Quinn just nodded. Fortunately, Rachel knew how to fill up both sides of a conversation.

"Were you getting in some extra practice?" she inquired, though she was obviously looking for that questionnaire now. Her eyes kept flicking over the chairs.

Quinn's heart hammered, but she forced a nod again. Her hands were stark white from the death grip she had on them.

"That's really wonderful. I'm glad you've become so dedicated to glee," Rachel said sincerely, and she shot her another smile. "It really is fantastic that—ah! Here it is." She flourished the questionnaire and Quinn flinched. "I dropped my notes when I left and…." She frowned down at the paper, eyeing the fresh wrinkles.

Quinn wanted to run. In fact, her brain was screaming at her to get the hell out of there before Rachel figured it out. But her feet would not move, and she figured it had something to do with the fact that, if not for the piano, she would be on the floor because her knees were not very strong at the moment.

Rachel's gaze lifted slowly, and her expression had gone pale with a side of terrified. Quinn knew how she felt.

"Did…did you read this?" she asked softly.

"No!" she exclaimed, but too quickly, because Rachel swallowed visibly.

"You know, I-I was just kidding about half of it," she said anxiously. "Or two thirds of it. Really, most of this thing was just a joke. I-I was just bored and—"

"What half?" Quinn asked, surprising herself.

"What?"

"What half was a joke?" she repeated, and her voice was stronger this time.

She was amazed at her recovery rate. All she had to do was want to pump some knowledge out of Rachel and she was back on her feet. Albeit still so aroused she might start humping her leg if she had to.

Rachel struggled to answer for several moments. The silence dragged on and on, and Quinn could see her trying to formulate a good answer.

"Um…I…which half had the stuff about you in it, again?" she asked weakly.

"So it _was_ about me," Quinn replied, folding her arms. Her knees were still a little shaky, but she managed to hold her intimidating pose.

Rachel winced. "Quinn, I-I'm really, really sorry. I never meant for you—or anyone, actually—to see this. I was just bored and I'd printed it off for fun, so I decided to occupy myself and it wasn't until I was about halfway home that I realized I'd dropped it and I really never meant for this to happen. I…I didn't want you to find out about… _it_ this way."

She nodded slowly. "Obviously."

Rachel sighed. "Look, before you…throw a slushie at me or whatever you plan to do, I just want you to know that I don't expect anything from you and you don't have to worry about me making any moves or anything like that."

Quinn considered her for a long moment. And she realized that she really _did_ stare at Rachel's legs a lot, and for good reason. They were long and gorgeous and lickable and Quinn really wanted to cuff Rachel to her headboard. And go to a movie theater. And possibly for a drive with Rachel's hand in the most inappropriate place possible. Probably all three. Multiple times.

And suddenly, Quinn felt certain of herself again. She smirked and started her advance, and Rachel stood her ground uneasily.

"Okay. I just had a question. Just for clarification purposes, really," Quinn said smoothly.

Rachel licked her lips nervously and nodded for her to go ahead.

"Would you mind showing me exactly what you had in mind with the piano? Because I'm still a little unclear on that part."


	2. Pianos and Handcuffs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quinn gets a shiny new surprise for Rachel.

Quinn's heart leapt as soon as she saw the box sitting there on her front porch. This was one of the wonderful things about her parents getting home later than her—she didn't have to fear them finding her little…present for Rachel. Well, it was more for both of them, she supposed. Particularly since Rachel had no idea what she was intending to do. Her grin turned feral at the thought and, feeling like a kid with a new toy, she bounced into her room with scissors and the box in hand.

It had been almost four weeks since the fateful day she found Rachel's questionnaire, and two weeks of that had been spent waiting for this to arrive. Quinn probably could've gone to a costume shop and gotten one just as easily, but chances were it would be a flimsy piece of junk with leopard prints on it or something. Which was tacky, and she and Rachel were a lot of things, but they were never tacky. Plus, this needed to be _perfect_.

She had, after all, been fantasizing about it ever since that afternoon four weeks ago. Not that the sex they were already having wasn't fun. In fact, Quinn probably could've qualified to join a Rachel Berry Addicts Anonymous group, if such a thing had existed.

Quinn had turned the questionnaire into a checklist of sorts (except for the really disturbing ones, like having sex on their parents' beds, or the ones where Quinn would have to share Rachel in any way, shape, or form). She was absolutely determined to wipe Puck and Aphasia off the sheet, and to fulfill every fantasy her girlfriend had. Including having sex standing up, which she accomplished by first turning Rachel back on to having sex with chocolate involved.

She'd pointed out that they could shower together afterward, so there wouldn't be any sticky mess when they woke, and they would be standing in the shower. The baths were fun, too, but there was just something about hearing Rachel's moans echo in the shower stall while the water cascaded over them that made Quinn really, really…happy.

Not to say that the only thing they did was have sex. After four days, Quinn couldn't take Finn touching her anymore when she could have Rachel's soft hands instead. So she'd broken up with him. After a week, Quinn could no longer stand the thought that anyone else could swoop Rachel up and she couldn't do anything about it because they weren't attached in any way besides their on-the-side fling. So she'd asked her on a date.

They still hadn't told anyone, since Quinn wasn't quite ready for that step yet. Rachel understood that it was a difficult process, and even if she had her doubts about it, it probably helped that Quinn spent copious amounts of time making it up to her, both by buying her flowers and chocolates and things, and by making sure to fulfill every single one of those fantasies. It also helped that she'd stopped being mean to her at school, though they didn't hang out. Quinn would flash a wink at her when they passed each other in the halls, and Rachel would smile, and they would meet up later for some privacy.

Rachel's dads were the only ones who knew, but that was only because Quinn was at their house all the time. And Quinn suspected Santana and Brittany might know something, since they came to use the storage closet one day and it was…occupied.

Quinn grinned in triumph when she finally freed the beautiful silver handcuffs from the packaging. She felt a shudder of anticipation travel through her just looking at them. _Later, Fabray. Get ready first._

She examined them quickly, making sure the pads she'd specifically ordered them for were in place before she pulled out the small silver key, checking to make sure they locked and unlocked properly. They were perfect. She wanted to give the manufacturer a hug.

Quinn set the cuffs next to the key on her dresser and went to fulfill her next agenda: clothing. Her Cheerios uniform would've been fine, except that she needed something in which she would be able to smuggle the cuffs and key.

Judging from Rachel's reaction to Aphasia's stealth bondage fun, she wasn't going to like the idea at first. Which was why Quinn intended on being…persuasively sneaky about it. This was how she'd turned Rachel back on to the chocolate, after all, so she hoped it would work again.

Slimming jeans would probably do. Quinn could simply put the key in her pocket and Rachel would be none the wiser. Plus, she liked it when Quinn wore tight clothing, so that would make it easier to lure her to bed. And as long as she brought her backpack and kept it unzipped, she could put the cuffs in there and set them next to the bed and…that would work, she decided with a nod, and set to changing her clothes.

Quinn couldn't help a grin at the fluttering of excitement low in her belly. It was like the first time they'd had sex—new and fresh and exhilarating. She couldn't wait.

#

The silence that followed Quinn's words was deafening. Rachel couldn't seem to get over the shock. Quinn was too horny to exhibit any patience, though, so after a few moments of Rachel's jaw flapping at her like a fish out of water, she closed the distance between them and gently tugged the questionnaire out of her fingers. Then she tossed it aside, not particularly caring where it ended up, and raised her eyebrows at the diva.

"If this is how this fantasy plays out, it's really quite boring," she said flatly.

That snapped Rachel out of it. Her face cleared and she smiled shyly up at her, and then she said in a near-whisper, "You're serious?"

Quinn rolled her eyes. "If I were joking, do you think I'd still be standing here?"

Rachel was evidently too ecstatic to care that Quinn was being snarky with her. She flashed one of her award-winning grins, slipped her backpack to the floor, and inched closer, and Quinn was burning up so badly she was about ready to scream. It only got worse the closer Rachel came, and she was tempted to tackle her to the floor, but then—finally—Rachel arched up on her tiptoes and pecked Quinn's lips.

Yes, pecked. She was being _that_ cautious, and it was driving Quinn _insane_. The brief contact wasn't enough for her to find any sort of release, or to figure out if she'd really liked it. Despite the fact that she'd realized that she seriously wanted to lick Rachel's legs until she quivered, this was all still new. And she needed _more_.

Quinn set her jaw when Rachel eased back onto her heels, gaze flicking over her features, as though searching for something. Apparently, she found whatever it was, because she came up again, lingering for longer this time. Quinn almost sagged with relief as her eyes fluttered closed, because those lips were as soft as they looked, and they caressed over hers so smoothly—like silk, she thought absently—and somehow released the tension in her chest while increasing it between her legs.

It was so different from Finn, who was sloppy and alternated between too hard and too light. And from Puck, who was too methodic in everything he did, too routine. This was…fiery. Steamy. She wondered what the rest of Rachel's skin tasted like. Her lips tasted of cherry chapstick, and it was delicious, but Quinn wanted more.

She made herself wait, lightly responding to her and going along with this slow pace for the time being, though she couldn't help the occasional squirm, because she was still so aroused she could climb on top of Rachel at any moment. Rachel didn't seem to sense her urgency. And she started to pull back to give Quinn another break, but she just could not stand it anymore. If Rachel didn't keep kissing her, she was sure she would implode.

So when cherry lips started to retreat, Quinn growled her frustration against them and snatched the back of Rachel's neck, pulling her back up hard into her mouth and simultaneously forcing Rachel's lips open to her questing tongue. Rachel squeaked in surprise, but she melted into it shortly, and Quinn moaned into her mouth when she felt their bodies press close together. There was no more question now—she liked this. Hell, she _loved_ this.

Rachel's tongue battled with hers and she tasted vaguely of tomatoes, which was an interesting mixture with the cherry of her lips. She smelled like…like…happy. In her lust-clouded mind, Quinn couldn't put her finger on it, so that was the only way she could describe it. It was such a _good_ smell, and it made her want, made her devour at Rachel's mouth just a little harder and tug her a little closer.

And Rachel's hands. For the love of God, why did Quinn _ever_ make fun of those _glorious_ hands? They slid over her sides and up her back, rubbing her shoulder blades and dragging down her spine, exploring every inch of Quinn's sculpted back. They traveled the same path a few times, staying above Quinn's cheerleading uniform—though she was desperate for Rachel to just rip it off already—and then one went up to cradle the base of Quinn's neck, and the other lowered, past the small of her back. She rubbed over Quinn's rump, gripping with just enough pressure, and Quinn's hips bucked and she gasped, because she'd never had that reaction to _that_ before.

Her gasp broke the kiss and Quinn panted while Rachel's lower hand froze. The other caressed lazy designs over the bare skin of her neck, and it drove her wild. She knew normally she'd be easing that hand off and suggesting that they pray, but she couldn't, for the life of her, think of one good reason to do that. Rachel was bending to catch her eyes, looking concerned.

"Do you want me to stop?" she asked gently.

Quinn narrowed her eyes on hers. "I will kill you if you stop," she growled, and Rachel flashed her a grin before they were at it again.

But Quinn was even more impatient this time. She needed more. She was dying here, and she was fairly certain Rachel should be able to _feel_ the heat radiating from her by now. So she began to subtly grind her hips against Rachel's. The height difference made it a tad awkward, but at this point she didn't care.

The hand on her rump slipped up, this time under her cheerleading top, and she felt Rachel's thumb start to trace lazy circles over the flesh she found there. Quinn nearly melted. But she was too impatient to let Rachel stop there. She tore away from the cherry lips, instead moving down her jaw and then to her neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses to the tender flesh. The little whimpers of encouragement from Rachel had her rocking her hips harder, and Quinn placed her hands on her waist to keep their bodies nice and tight together.

Quinn found her pulse point in short order, and she flicked her tongue out interestedly, shuddering at another taste of her delectable skin. Rachel shivered, so she did it again, this time reaching to suck there while one of her hands smoothed over Rachel's hip and then up her shirt. Rachel was panting by the time Quinn's hand reached the lace of a bra, and she grazed her thumb over a nipple that felt as hard as her own, even through the fabric.

Rachel hissed and her nails dug into Quinn's skin before she pulled away, gripping her shoulders to keep her at a distance. Quinn scowled at her, struggling to move closer, but the diva was surprisingly strong.

Rachel smirked. "That's not exactly how it goes," she panted, and then took the hand that had been up her shirt.

Quinn had completely forgotten they were enacting a fantasy, but she smiled delightedly at the prospect of actually getting somewhere with it, letting Rachel drag her to the deserted piano. Rachel released her hand to lower the lid on the keys, and Quinn reacted immediately to that horrible loss of contact. She melted around her from behind, nipping at her neck and holding her up when Rachel's knees weakened.

When her hand started to wander to the diva's breast again, Rachel turned in her arms and Quinn growled her disappointment. Rachel just smiled and coaxed her to sit up on the piano lid. Quinn eyed her curiously, and Rachel kissed her briefly before she sank onto the piano bench in front of her, running her hands up her thighs as she did so. Quinn shuddered, bracing her heels on the bench on either side of her, and wanting more than anything for Rachel to touch her and ease the throbbing.

But instead of venturing underneath her cheerleading skirt, Rachel just rubbed her legs—going down over her calves and then back up her thighs—and then up her hips—the firm grip made Quinn groan, but it wasn't enough—and then she shifted up her cheerleading top to start massaging her abs.

Quinn was going to scream. But her frustrated groan turned into a moan of pleasure when Rachel bent and started pressing sticky, open-mouthed kisses to her abs and flattened her tongue up the center of her stomach. Her muscles twitched and flexed under Rachel's talented tongue and her head rocked back with a groan. Quinn leaned back against the piano, bracing her hands behind her and trying to scoot her hips closer to Rachel.

She was _ready_ , dammit. And as much as she would later appreciate Rachel's efforts to make it enjoyable, at the moment she was about ready to get on her knees and beg. Or leap on her. Whichever came first.

It was when Rachel's hands burrowed under the cheerleading top to cup Quinn's breasts that she just couldn't take it anymore. She swatted the hands away, panting frantically, and Rachel first looked confused, then concerned as she opened her mouth—likely to ask if she wanted her to stop—but Quinn beat her to it.

"Later," she breathed. "I _need_ you."

And she really didn't care how desperate she sounded at the moment, because she'd been turned on for Rachel for what felt like _forever_ , and she needed release right _now_.

Instead of grinning smugly, like Quinn half-expected her to, Rachel just smiled, looking…pleased. She reached up to kiss Quinn sweetly, and then she sat again and gradually dragged her hands back down her abdomen, and Quinn panted, watching her in anticipation as the wonderful hands smoothed down her thighs again, and then one went back up on the _inside_ this time. The other traveled up to her hip, holding her in place while its twin traced designs over the delicate flesh of Quinn's inner thigh.

Rachel gasped, and it was an oddly raspy, awed sound that Quinn never expected to hear from the diva. Then she murmured, almost to herself, "You're so wet…."

Quinn might've blushed, but then Rachel cupped her through the soaked fabric and she let out her own gasp, hips bucking instinctively. And Rachel _finally_ took the hint. She swept the panties down Quinn's legs, and she lifted her hips and feet to help in the process. Quinn almost laughed when Rachel took care to set them on the bench beside her, but she was too busy shivering with eagerness to find humor in anything at the moment.

Rachel braced her hip with one hand again, and then she locked eyes with Quinn as she slid the other hand back up her thigh and _finally_ fingered her dripping folds. Quinn whimpered and tried to keep her eyes open as Rachel slid up and down her slit, delving in after a few passes. Quinn moaned unabashedly as Rachel explored her, her hips rocking frantically against that magical hand that was so different from Puck's thing, because it made her even wetter instead of making her flinch, and it—

Two of Rachel's fingers found her clit. And Quinn was not at all surprised when she cried out and her body convulsed as she came hard. She'd been so on edge it was only natural. What she was surprised by was how she almost fell to pieces around the intense satisfaction that hit her like a freight train, because she'd never felt that before. It was usually a small burst of bliss and then it was over, but this time, looking into eyes that were as dark with arousal as her own and feeling the pressure of Rachel's fingers against her sex, it kept going and she was nearing tears with the pleasure of it when she finally came down from the high.

Rachel was reaching up to press butterfly kisses over her cheeks and neck, soothing her while she rested against the piano. Once Quinn had found equilibrium, she turned to capture Rachel's lips again, meeting her tongue halfway when she opened up to her. She pulled away when she needed air, trailing kisses of gratitude along Rachel's jaw and neck before she sighed against a flushed ear.

"That was…." She abruptly decided there were no words, and instead tugged Rachel's earlobe between her teeth.

Rachel gasped and pulled back to smile at her. "It's not over quite yet," she purred, and Quinn heard herself give a soft growl of encouragement when the fingers began to circle, very slowly.

She had had no idea she could get aroused again so quickly, but as Rachel pressed her fingers more firmly against her clit, rubbing teasingly, and kissed her way back down her body, Quinn felt the stirring and aching again, and she yelped with surprise and delight when Rachel pinched her, just the slightest bit. Rachel looked up then, and Quinn answered the question in her eyes before she could get it out by nodding furiously.

Another small smile graced Rachel's lips, and Quinn decided something—Rachel was gorgeous. Especially like this, with her skin a little flushed and her hair tousled from Quinn's explorations and her eyes darker than usual. And then she decided that she definitely, _definitely_ needed to see how much of the rest of her skin flushed like that.

But later, because Rachel was pinching and then rubbing circles again and then…then her fingers slipped lower and her lips replaced them and Quinn's hips jerked violently at the feeling of the hot moisture of Rachel's mouth on her. Rachel moved with her, keeping her mostly still with the hand on her hip, and then she started sucking and licking and nipping and Quinn almost died.

She was so distracted by the wonderful lips and teeth and tongue that she forgot about the fingers until one slid into her, and then her hips rocked into it and she moaned and fell back on the piano with a thud. Rachel paused, likely to see if she was all right, and then started thrusting slowly, carefully, and Quinn arched into every push, writhing because it felt so good she didn't know what to do with herself.

Through all her pants and groans, she managed to rasp, " _Harder_ ," and Rachel obeyed, slipping another finger in, and it turned out once Quinn spoke, she couldn't stop, because she kept moaning things like "ohgodohgodohgod" and "Rachel" and "fuck." And it was so, _so_ much better than the buildup of before, because Rachel was there pleasuring her instead of far away where she could do nothing about it.

She was so wrapped up in the overwhelming sensations that she didn't notice Rachel pulling her mouth away until the feeling of fullness left her, and she thought she would kill the diva if she was doing what she thought she was doing. She sat up sharply and gasped, "What are you—oh, _God_."

And Quinn shrieked Rachel's name with her release, not caring if any of the janitors heard, because Rachel's tongue was filling her and her fingers were working her clit again and it was the most amazing thing she'd ever experienced, and this time she _was_ sobbing when she came down from it all.

Rachel held Quinn up and helped her scoot farther onto the piano so she wouldn't fall off, and then she crawled up next to her and kissed her comfortingly again, holding her close and whispering sweetly to her.

#

Quinn sighed wistfully. Just remembering it was getting her tingly, though she supposed it could've actually been because she was about to fulfill one of her own fantasies, and hopefully help Rachel get a new fantasy herself. It was likely a mixture of both, she decided as she knocked on the Berrys' door.

Mr. Glasses Berry opened the door and smiled at her. "Hello, Quinn."

"Hey, Mr. B.," she said cheerfully, trotting on in when he swung the door wide for her. "How are you?"

"Oh, fine," he replied. "Waiting for Leroy, at the moment."

"Oh, are you two going out?" she asked innocently.

She knew perfectly well they were going out, because Rachel always told her when they were going out. Which was why it was just perfect that the cuffs arrived on the same day, because if Quinn had had to wait…. She shook the thought off.

He heaved a longsuffering sigh. "Yes. Some benefit or something like that," he said, shaking his head.

Quinn smiled sympathetically. "Well, try to have fun."

"Oh, I'm sure once—"

"Hiram! This damn tie won't work again!" Mr. Thumb-Ring Berry bellowed.

Mr. B. winced and called, "Coming!" He smiled and patted Quinn's shoulder. "There's casserole in the oven for dinner, if you're hungry."

She smiled back. "Thanks."

Then he retreated down the hall to aid his husband, and Quinn waited until he was out of sight before bolting up the stairs. She knocked twice and waltzed into Rachel's bedroom, and Rachel brightened immediately, meeting her halfway across the room for a kiss.

When they pulled apart, she said softly, "Hey."

Quinn smiled. "Hi."

"How was your day?"

"The usual. Yours?"

And that was all it took for Rachel to start rambling, giving Quinn time to place her backpack strategically next to the bed and memorize its exact position for easier maneuvering later. She sank to the edge of the bed, watching in amusement as her girlfriend ranted about the lack of etiquette displayed by the boys at their high school. She was half-tempted to snare her by the waist and pin her to the bed, but she knew from experience that the diva did not find being interrupted arousing.

Besides, as Quinn once read somewhere, these things took time. She smiled to herself.

"…so I've been trying to find a good instrumental version of the song Mr. Schuester assigned us, but every single track seems to have been ripped from a scratched CD via the most ancient technology available," Rachel was saying irritably. "But I'm sure I'll find something. Did you bring the sheet music?"

Quinn nodded and went to dig it out of her bag while Rachel kept talking. She might've listened, but for one thing, she was too busy looking forward to what was to come to listen to Rachel rant about the accessibility of high-quality tracks on the internet. And for another, she'd come to realize the difference between when Rachel was saying something important and when she was just talking to fill the silence.

"Why don't you run through the second verse a couple times while I keep looking? I was listening to you in rehearsal, and it sounded like you were going a bit sharp," Rachel said then, easing down into her computer chair.

Quinn sighed and nodded, scooting back to the middle of the bed so she could sit up properly. She sang it once and Rachel corrected her at the exact moment her voice wavered, so she tried again and again until Rachel was satisfied with the result. Her dads popped in to bid them goodbye and, shortly afterward, they fell into comfortable silence while Rachel kept surfing.

Quinn swallowed the fluttering in her stomach down and tossed the sheet music to Rachel's nightstand before turning back to her girlfriend. She eyed her for a good long while, taking in her cute bare feet and the black skirt standing out against her long, gorgeous legs and the slim waist coming up to her alluring breasts, upon which tresses of chocolate hair rested. Quinn licked her lips.

"Rachel?" she purred, voice as low and sultry as she'd known it would be.

"Hm?"

"Come to bed," she said beseechingly, and Rachel immediately turned to frown at her.

"Quinn, you promised," she said severely. "You promised you would rehearse with me tonight until—"

"We can still rehearse after," Quinn replied, smirking when Rachel scowled. "Come on. It'll be easier for me to concentrate if I'm not thinking about how much I want you."

"I thought you said my singing arouses you," Rachel said suspiciously.

"It does, but I'll be able to hold out longer this way."

Rachel shot her a withering glare and Quinn grinned winningly.

"Come on, baby, please?" She batted her eyelashes for good measure. "It won't take much, and you need a break anyway."

"We haven't even started yet," she retorted, folding her arms.

"Yeah, but looking for a good track is frustrating you. You need to unwind." She grinned.

Rachel huffed, and Quinn knew she'd won. "I'm only doing this so you'll concentrate when I want you to."

"And because you want me, too," Quinn replied, winking as she scooted toward the edge of the bed.

"Maybe," she said, mock-thoughtfully.

But she stood and approached Quinn, who popped up on her knees eagerly to meet her girlfriend. She was humming with excitement, but she forced herself not to rush—Rachel would know something was up if she did. So Quinn scooped under her arms, drawing her close and dragging her tongue along Rachel's lips until she acquiesced. Rachel hiked up her blouse a bit and ran her fingers teasingly along the revealed flesh, spreading goose bumps along Quinn's arms, and soon she was luring Rachel onto the bed.

Rachel pushed her back into the pillows and dipped down to spread kisses along her neck, and while she was busy digging beneath Quinn's blouse, Quinn rolled them over—closer to the side of the bed with her bag next to it. It was always hard for her to concentrate when Rachel was doing that thing with her tongue below her ear, but she forced herself to, because the end result would be so worth it.

She straddled her slim hips first, rocking into her a little roughly, and Rachel gasped, eyelids fluttering. Quinn shot her a feral grin and bent to steal her lips again, making quick work of the buttons on her girlfriend's top and then gently squeezing the soft mounds through her bra. She grazed her thumbs over the evidence of her girlfriend's arousal and Rachel hissed, dragging her nails up Quinn's back and taking the shirt with it.

Quinn pulled her up to unclasp her bra, removing both clothing items and baring Rachel's breasts. She licked her lips at the sight and dipped to suck and nip at Rachel's neck, eliciting little grunts of enjoyment from the girl below her. She licked her pulse point lightly and Rachel shuddered, moaning when Quinn continued down and pressed a love bite to the crook of her neck. She was tugging impatiently at Quinn's shirt, so she briefly detached herself and allowed her to remove it, but then she was back at it.

Rachel arched her body up into Quinn as she kissed her way down her collarbone, shifting down her body as she smoothed her tongue down Rachel's sternum and then veered left, taking the pert nipple in her mouth and swirling her tongue around it. Rachel wriggled underneath her, trying to get closer to Quinn's mouth and the hand tending to her other breast, massaging and running in circles around it while she sucked and nipped on the other side.

When Rachel reached to remove her bra, Quinn couldn't take the wait any longer. She snatched her wrists, pinning them up above her head, and ground their hips together. Rachel's eyes went wide with excitement and her chest heaved a little harder, and Quinn distracted her with her mouth and tongue. She struggled to stay focused on her plan of action while Rachel was sucking on her tongue and she was trying to keep up the rhythm of their hips moving together.

Quinn shifted to hold Rachel's wrists with one hand, the other reaching down over the edge of the bed to snatch her bag. It was tricky, and she hadn't gotten quite as far over as she might've liked, but she managed to tug it up enough to pull out the cuffs. This was the _really_ hard part, and she had to use every bit of the agility she'd developed through cheerleading to do it.

She slipped the chain of the cuffs through the poles in the headboard and then snapped the cuffs over Rachel's wrists as quickly as she could, and then pulled back to smile at her work. Rachel's eyes went wide, and then she glowered at Quinn, jerking her wrists against the cuffs so hard the headboard moved. And that was exactly why Quinn ordered them with the pads.

"Dammit, Quinn!" Rachel growled, still struggling against her restraints.

She wasn't quite as angry as Quinn had anticipated, which would make things much easier in the long run. Quinn grinned impishly and bent to press a soothing kiss to her neck, since she knew she definitely wouldn't be getting a kiss on the lips right now.

"I am going to kill you when I get out of these," Rachel snapped.

"Just so long as you resurrect me so I can have you again," Quinn agreed against her neck, still peppering the skin with her kisses.

"Why didn't you _ask_ before doing this?" she grumbled, trying to wiggle her hands out of them now.

"Because I knew you'd say no," she replied, waiting for her to calm down enough for her to please her, "and probably without even hearing me out. You know I practically memorized that questionnaire."

Rachel scowled. "I wish you'd never read the damn thing."

"No, you don't, because then I wouldn't be doing _this_ ," she purred, licking up the column of her throat until she reached her pulse.

Rachel moaned despite herself and wriggled some more. "Did you steal these off a police officer or something?" she grumped when they wouldn't budge.

"Nope. Ordered them special," Quinn said proudly, and she kissed her on the lips this time when Rachel froze.

"You ordered them specially for this?" she echoed quietly, and Quinn had trouble deciphering her expression when she lifted up to look her in the eye. She bobbed her head and Rachel sighed. "You really wanted to do this, didn't you?"

She did. She really, really did. But she also didn't want to force Rachel into anything, so Quinn shrugged with a nonchalance that only came with years of practice.

"If you don't want to, I can—" and she reached for the key in her pocket.

"Quinn, no," Rachel cut in, rattling the chain a bit when she went to reach for her. She sighed. "I want to fulfill your fantasies as much as you want to mine."

"And none of my fantasies involve forcing you to do something you're not into," Quinn retorted.

"I'm sorry, baby, it's just…when Aphasia and I did it, it wasn't—I'm sorry." She bit her lip and Quinn softened a little.

She _hated_ hearing _anything_ about Aphasia and Puck, which Rachel knew quite well. It had actually led to a full-blown argument between the two of them, and they'd ended up refusing to speak to each other for roughly three days before they gave in. Rachel arched up, looking a bit desperate, and Quinn solved her problem, bending to kiss her comfortingly.

"It's okay," she whispered against her lips. "Just…trust me. I want to make you feel good."

And since Rachel could never deny Quinn anything she wanted, she nodded her assent, and Quinn nearly did a victory dance. Instead, she celebrated by kissing Rachel chastely, thanking her without words before she got down to the real business.

Quinn started with her neck, biting just hard enough to leave her mark and licking to soothe the areas as she dragged her hands down Rachel's arms. Rachel was already panting quietly, whimpering whenever Quinn's teeth sank in. She heard the chain rattle a bit, but Rachel didn't protest verbally, so she smiled around the collarbone she was sucking and continued to scoot down her body.

Her hands finally met the level of her mouth and she rubbed down Rachel's sides instead, shimmying down the smaller girl as she nipped over her chest and shoulders, placing another love bite in the crook of her neck on the side she'd neglected earlier. Rachel arched up into her with a gasp when one of her hands passed over her breast at the same time as her mouth took the other again. Quinn rolled their hips together, working her mouth over Rachel's nipple while one hand curved under her back and the other traveled over her body, feeling her abs flex under her hand and massaging the abandoned soft mound.

Rachel quivered as Quinn continued her downward journey, satisfied with her attention to her breasts. Her tongue dragged down Rachel's sternum and along the bottom of her ribcage, nibbling lightly while the smaller girl gasped and shuddered beneath her. Quinn paid special attention to her abdomen, enjoying the way Rachel moaned in agreement as she pressed open-mouthed kisses to the flesh and her blonde hair fell over it.

Her hands now traveled down to Rachel's legs and hips, teasing at the waistband of the skirt and massaging the back of her thighs. The headboard moved when Rachel jerked as a finger trailed up toward the apex of her thighs, and Quinn grinned up at her before she continued on. She hooked her fingers into the skirt and the undergarments below, dragging both down Rachel's legs, much to her delight.

Quinn tossed both aside, as she had the blouse and bra, and smirked at her beautiful, cuffed Rachel. She'd been thinking of it for so long—how her chocolate hair would be stuck to her forehead and her eyes would be dark with desire and her legs would be stretched, spread open in complete submission to Quinn—that the reaction her body had to the sight was almost overwhelming.

She shuddered and—much as she wanted to spend a few minutes licking Rachel's legs—she crawled over her body, back to those lips, and kissed her hard. The chain rattled again as Rachel tugged against them, kissing Quinn frantically and arching up when Quinn covered her body with her own. She slid her thigh between Rachel's, feeling her jeans soaked as she pressed against her girlfriend's heat and not caring.

Rachel ground against her desperately while Quinn let her lips trail below a flushed ear, kissing and nipping while her thumb stroked lazy circles around Rachel's breast.

"Quinn, please," Rachel whimpered.

"Mm…please what?" she purred, and Rachel shuddered.

Her eyelids fluttered shut as Quinn drew her tongue up the column of her throat to her earlobe, stopping there because Rachel hadn't answered her.

"Please what?" she repeated, more insistently this time, and she rolled the hard nipple between her thumb and forefinger.

"God," Rachel hissed, still using Quinn's leg to try and create release. "Touch me. Please, baby…."

"Where?" she whispered, right in her ear, which she showered with kisses.

Rachel bucked her hips feverishly against her leg, but it wasn't enough. She groaned her frustration.

"You know where, Quinn, please!" she moaned.

Quinn smirked, giving in because she wanted it just as much. She leaned to the side of her girlfriend, removing her leg from between Rachel's and eliciting a whine of protest from her until she felt the hand start to ease down the plane of her stomach. She panted her excitement, and Quinn grinned when she let out an animalistic moan at the first touch of her fingers.

She slid her digits up and down the dripping wet folds and Rachel quivered, letting out quiet whimpers. Quinn circled her clit slowly and Rachel's whimpers turned to moans, which Quinn rewarded with more kisses to her neck and ear.

She couldn't help herself when she murmured smugly, "Better than with Aphasia, I take it?"

Rachel groaned, head tilting back as she arched into her hand. "Wha?"

Quinn grinned and dipped lower, keeping her thumb pressed to her clit as she slipped in two fingers. Rachel cried out, hips moving faster against her hand now, and Quinn thrust at a steady pace until she begged her not to stop. She abandoned Rachel's clit then so she could have more leverage in her thrusts, moving quicker and harder and curling her fingers up to hit that spot that always made Rachel let out a keening howl, and it didn't fail this time.

She was panting, too, within a few moments and she felt herself getting closer just watching Rachel as she frantically tried to keep up with the pace Quinn was setting. Rachel's moans had turned into cries of Quinn's name, but nothing seemed quite enough to shove her over the edge, so Quinn angled her hand up to hit that spot every time and sucked at her pulse point and then Rachel came with a shout.

Quinn slowed her thrusts, easing her down from her high as she panted and convulsed around her fingers. When the clenching inside had stopped, Quinn slipped her fingers out, moaning at the taste of Rachel as she licked them off, and hurried to dig the key out of her pocket. She unlatched Rachel and pulled her limp arms down, hooking a leg over her hip and hugging her close as she recovered.

She kissed Rachel's forehead, feeling utterly satisfied even though she hadn't quite reached her own release, and grinned lazily when brown eyes met hers.

"I love you," Rachel breathed, kissing her lightly on the mouth.

"And I love you," Quinn replied, rubbing their noses together happily. "So, can we keep 'em?"

She winked and Rachel laughed, glancing above them at the cuffs.

"I suppose I wouldn't be completely opposed to doing that again," she allowed, smiling. "Just so long as _I_ get to do the cuffing next time." She eyed her severely.

Quinn grinned. "Of course. You didn't think I was going to let _you_ have all the fun with our new toy, did you?"

She shook her head, smiling wryly. "It looked to me like you were the one having the fun."

She arched a challenging brow. "Oh, really? Well, I'm not the one who got off on it, was I?"

"You nearly did." Rachel smirked, rolling Quinn onto her back. "And what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't make sure it was absolutely? Not a very good one, in my opinion, and we simply can't have that, can we?"

"I couldn't agree more."


	3. Take Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quinn wants Rachel to fill out the survey again - only right this time.

**XxX41myeohmye14XxX's Sex Questionnaire** (Take Two)

 **1\. Name?** Still extremely personal, by the way, but it's Mad Libby again. _What if I wanted to be Mad Libby?_ You can't. Come up with something else. _Fine. I'm…Suzie Q._ How unoriginal. _I could be Sexy Q._ Better.

 **2\. Reason for taking this?** My insane girlfriend is making me do it again so I won't talk about XXXX XX XXXXXXX this time. _What did you_ _just_ _say? Now I have to scribble it out._ May I just point out that your paranoia is reaching new heights? I'm getting concerned. _You know you think it's hot._ Anyway.

 **3\. Sexual orientation (if you know)?** Bi. _Liar._ Currently a full-blown lesbian with a girlfriend. _That's better._

 **4\. Which sex are the majority of your fantasies about?** They're pretty much all about Sexy Q. _Pretty_ _much?_ Again, with the paranoia. All of my  sexual fantasies are about you. _They better be_.

**Have you ever:**

**5\. …kissed someone?** Duh. _That wasn't very eloquent of you._ Are you going to comment on every single thing I say on this? _Probably._ How do you roll your eyes on paper? _RME._ Ah. RME to the tenth power. _That's not very nice. I'm withholding tonight._ No, you aren't.

 **6\. Had sex?** Yes, I have. Several times. _And several more times tonight._ I told you you weren't withholding. _Damn you._ Now who's not being nice?

 **7\. Dry humped?** Yes, indeed. _Have not._ Not with you. _Only with people we are_ _not_ _mentioning._ It's not my fault you can't keep your clothes on. _I can, too. You'll see._ Should I be worried? _Only if you're afraid of dry humping with a girl._

 _You are now permitted to answer this question with a yes._ Okay, so yes, I have. _And it was awesome._ Excellent.

 **8\. Been walked in on?** No. Sexy Q is even sneakier than I am, actually, so the whole 'Coach Sylvester's desk' thing ended up working out after all. _You still owe me ten bucks._

 **9\. Had someone watch?** Not to my knowledge, unless she's kinkier than I thought. _Ew, no. No one's allowed to see that but me._ Thank God.

 **10\. Watched others have sex?** Still no. _Unless watching me counts._ I don't think that's what this was asking. _Oh. Well, I think it's worth mentioning._ You think any time I was in handcuffs is worth mentioning. _Come on, you know that was awesome._ Torturous is the word, Q.

 **11\. Made out at a dance?** Yes. _OMG, Santana's face was hilarious._ I'd prefer not to think about that. _Well, don't think about_ _after_ _the facial expression._ It's impossible. The sounds of her gagging will haunt me forever. _You're so dramatic._ And you're just now realizing this…?

 **12\. Had sex at a dance?** Of course not. _If stupid Santana hadn't shown up…._ It still would've been no. _That's what you think._

 **13\. Gone to a hotel just to have sex?** Well, that was really our only option after getting caught at the dance. _Good times. Their complimentary breakfast waffles were good._ The syrup was even better. _:D_

 **14\. Had sex on your parents's bed?** Again with the ew. _That would be gross. I don't want to think about that._

 **15\. Had sex with your parents home, without them knowing?** Only because Sexy Q is really Horny Q. _It is not my fault that you decided to sing Touchin' On My while clad in only your underwear._ I told you: I was changing into my pajamas. _Sure. And you decided to take a singing break between being dressed and undressed._ Yeah? _You're insane._ Look who's talking.

 **16\. Had sex the first time you met someone?** No. As I said _We'll just leave it at that._ But _No._ Stop stealing my pen. Thank you.

 **17\. Had sex at a movie?** So many times…. _You pick boring movies._ Right. And who was the one who begged to go see that Harry Potter movie? _I realized I'm Christian, so I think witchcraft is evil._ That is the lamest excuse I have ever heard. Or is it seen? _Read, probably._ Sounds good to me.

 **18\. Had sex in a public place?** Since being with Q, I've broken this standard more times than I care to admit. _I win._

 **19\. Had sex outdoors?** Surprisingly, no. _You were right the first time you filled this out. Bugs are gross. Your sweaters, however, could use a few grass stains._ I'm going to ignore that.

 **20\. Had sex while driving?** Yes. And it's not a safe activity. _It was so fun._ You think almost driving into a ditch is fun? _No, but the sex part was._

 **21\. Had sex with chocolate sauce, honey, etc.?** Again, so many times. Fortunately, my Sexy Q was smart enough to find a solution to the morning-after mess. _:D_

 **22\. Had sex sitting?** Yes. _What, no other comment? I'm hurt._ And it's hot. _Thank you._

 **23\. Had sex standing?** Yes, often. _Because I'm cooler than the people we aren't mentioning._ Exactly.

 **24\. Had sex with a virgin?** She was a virgin to lesbian sex, so I count it. _Stupid man we aren't mentioning._

 **25\. Had sex with bondage?** I think this goes without saying. _Say it, anyway._ Of course I have. _And?_ And it's more fun than I thought it would be. Especially when we mix in the chocolate and stripteasing. _I told you so…._

 **26\. Had sex with more than one person at a time?** N _No! Mine!_ I was going to say no, but anyway.

 **27\. Had sex with both a man and a woman (at different times)?** This question still makes no sense. _I think they mean have you had sex with both sexes. But they sort of already covered that._ See what I meant about the proofreading? This is ridiculous. _Chill._

 **28\. Had sex with both a man and a woman (at the same time)?** _Why aren't you answering?_ I was expecting a swift 'No, mine!' _Ah. Well, I think I've made my point. But still. Mine._

 **29\. Had sex with 3 or more in the same night?** Definitely not. _Stupid question._

 **30\. Teased someone successfully for over an hour?** Over two, once. _You are_ _so_ _good at that. We need to take a break. Right now._

 **31\. Done a striptease?** I did just now, in fact, as part of the aforementioned teasing. _I don't know why you bothered putting your clothes back on._ Because you like ripping them off. _True._

 **32\. Seen a striptease at a public establishment?** Still not old enough, and I can just ask Sexy Q now. _Anything for my Mad Libby._

 **33\. Bought sexual aids?** Yes. _We have a special credit card._ Why is that pertinent information? _Because we have a credit card together._ … _Just trust me, it's important._

 **34\. Used sexual aids?** Yes. _And?_ With someone else now. _And?_ It's sexy as all hell. _Language._ You know you like it. _;D_

 **35\. Seduced someone?** I've perfected the art. _You really have. But you should practice anyway. Right now._ We're almost to the end. Can't it wait? _Fine. I see how you are._

 **36\. MADE your fantasy come true?** Many times over, in fact. _You could do it again…right now._

 **37\. Caused someone who was straight or gay to become bisexual?** I think I may have actually pushed her all the way over to gay. _We could be gay together right now._ There are only five questions left.

**Favorite:**

**38\. Position?** That's an extremely tough call. _Well?_ I'm thinking. _I am waiting…._ Okay, I think I like any position where Sexy Q is above me, because she looks amazing with her hair cascading around her shoulders like that. _Okay, you don't get to answer any more questions until I have my way._

 **39\. Dirty phrase?** I had one all picked out before that interruption. I think I may have a new one now, though. _Which one?_ 'So tight, baby, all night.' _And I thought I was being corny._ I think it was the way you said it. _I'm good._

 **40\. Fantasy?** I still love me a blonde cheerleader on a piano. _No new one?_ What can I say? I'm consistent. _Well, yeah. Your life goal has been to take Broadway since you were like four. Months._ RME.

**Last Few:**

**41\. Did you like this questionnaire?** It's all right. _I lurv this questionnaire._ 'Lurv' isn't a word. _It is now._

 **42\. Will you pass this on?** No. _I think we should give it to Brittany and Santana._ I don't think I want to know their answers to some of these. _You're no fun._ I am offended. _Is there any way I can make it up to you?_ Horndog. _So are you. You just hide it better._ Sexy Q? _Yes, Mad Libby?_ Shut up.


	4. Ducky and Satan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brittany and Santana take the infamous questionnaire for a spin.

**XxX41myeohmye14XxX's Sex Questionnaire**

**1\. Name?** Ra-I mean Libby and Q told us we should come up with code names. What is yours gonna be, S? _This is lame._ I think I'll use your special name for me. _You mean your sexy name?_ No, my special name. Ducky. :) _Britt_ Ducky. _Gah, fine! Ducky, you_ _swore_ _not to_ _ever_ _tell_ _anyone_ _about that._ I'm sorry. I can't think of anything else. :( _Ugh. Fine. Mine is…Satan (and Q, if you read this, yes, that is just to piss you off)._ But you don't have one of those pitchfork things.

 **2\. Reason for taking this?** Libby and Q said it would be fun. _Sexy Q (let's take a minute to make fun of_ _that_ _, please) said she scored like three times just filling this out. And a bunch of times afterward._

 **3\. Sexual orientation (if you know)?** There's a sex class? San, we should take it! _They mean do you prefer girls or guys._ Oh. I like Satan. :) _…I like you, too, Ducky._

 **4\. Which sex are the majority of your fantasies about?** Missionary. That's what that position is called, right? _They mean do you dream about guys or girls more._ Oh. _And yes, that is what that position is called._ I dream about Satan a lot. How about you, San? _Mostly girls._ :)

**Have you ever:**

**5.** … **kissed someone?** Lots of people! _This is the lamest questionnaire ever. I'm going to beat 'Libby' over the head with it when we're done._

 **6\. Had sex?** Lots of times. _This questionnaire deserves to be set on fire._

 **7\. Dry humped?** My dog does that to my uncle. _…Yeah, we've done it._

 **8\. Been walked in on?** Q said she was going to burn out her eyes. I don't think she should. She has pretty eyes. _My mom wouldn't talk to me for two weeks._ I'm sorry. :( _That was with Puck—not your fault. Bastard remembers a condom but doesn't lock the door? Moron._

 **9\. Had someone watch?** I don't like being watched. I get all self-conscience. _Conscious. Me, too._

 **10\. Watched others have sex?** I didn't mean to. Someone called my mom and she didn't lock the door. _I hate seeing parents making the beast. Blech._

 **11\. Made out at a dance?** Lots of times. I think I'm getting a good score, San. _Good for you._

 **12\. Had sex at a dance?** Almost. _What?_ Karofsky passed out during. Does it still count? _…No, I guess not._ Have you? _Yeah._

 **13\. Gone to a hotel just to have sex?** _After that whole thing with Mom, I don't really have any other choice._ I love the Days Inn. We should go there tonight. _Maybe this questionnaire isn't half-bad…._

 **14\. Had sex on your parents's bed?** That was fun, wasn't it? _Yeah. Is your mom taking another long vacation soon?_ She said soon. Oh, we could eat popcorn in bed again! And watch Happy Feet! _Right. Or we could do other stuff._

 **15\. Had sex with your parents home, without them knowing?** I always tell Mom. _You do?_ So she won't walk in. She buys me condoms. _Oh…well…until Puck was an idiot, I did._

 **16\. Had sex the first time you met someone?** There was this guy at this club. He was really nice. He bought me breakfast. _B-Ducky, what have I told you about that? Fucking strangers is a_ _bad_ _idea. STDs, and all that._ I didn't have sex with him. I was just telling you about my morning. _…Anyway._

 **17\. Had sex at a movie?** I find them distracting. _They're talking about in a theater._ Oh. That's even worse. But I didn't mind doing it to you. _I know for a fact Q had to have gotten some by now. What am I doing wrong here?_ You could just ask me. :) _Oh._

 **18\. Had sex in a public place?** I think we just did. _The library is a pretty public place. Even if no one's here._ That was fun. We should do it again, only this time you can _Okay, try to remember that Libby and Q are probably going to read this since we read theirs…._ But I thought you said we weren't going to tell them we did. _Oh, right. Damn it._

 **19\. Had sex outdoors?** I had to quit. Bark is scratchy. _Running away from the neighbor's insane dog wasn't fun, either._

 **20\. Had sex while driving?** I thought I was always driving when I do guys. _They mean in a car._ Oh. Backseats are small. _You've never had sex in a car while it was driving?_ That sounds confusing. _Gah, so much to teach you._

 **21\. Had sex with chocolate sauce, honey, etc.?** Nope. _Me, either._ Libby told me it's fun. _I have doubts about Tranny's definition of 'fun.'_ She says there's shower sex afterward. _…I may have to rethink my opinion of Libby._

 **22\. Had sex sitting?** Is that like when we do this?

 _Yep. I like this questionnaire._ More than you like me? :( _Of course not._ :)

 **23\. Had sex standing?** Yep! S, do you think I'm going to win? _Totally._ :D

 **24\. Had sex with a virgin?** I don't think so. _Karofsky was a virgin._ Really? Yay me! :D How about you, S? _Frankenteen—worst sex ever._ Aww, can I make it up to you? _I'm not gonna say no to that._

 **25\. Had sex with bondage?** Satan and I bond all the time, even when we're not doing it. _They mean like handcuffs and stuff, B-Ducky._ Oh. Yeah, I have. But only with S. I'm afraid other people will leave me tied up. _I would never do that._ I know. :D

 **26\. Had sex with more than one person at a time?** Yep! Puck wanted Libby to do it with us, but she kept saying no. _Thank God for her prudishness._ She likes prunes? Maybe that's what we should get her for her birthday. _…_

 **27\. Had sex with both a man and a woman (at different times)?** I'm confused. _Yeah, Q said to skip this one. Something about unclear meaning making people cry or…I don't know._ Oh.

 **28\. Had sex with both a man and a woman (at the same time)?** Yep! But I think I prefer it when Puck isn't there. _Me, too. He's a moron._

 **29\. Had sex with 3 or more in the same night?** No. :( S, I lost one. _This is a good one to lose._ Really? Did you lose it? _Yes. Barely._

 **30\. Teased someone successfully for over an hour?** Almost. :( I made it to 56 minutes. _So that's what the stopwatch was about…._

 **31\. Done a striptease?** Satan usually stops me before I finish. But she didn't when we did it on that webcam she bought me for Christmas. _I hate you._ :'( _I didn't mean—gah, stop pouting at me! You know I didn't mean it that way. But I am taking the webcam back._

 **32\. Seen a striptease at a public establishment?** Does the choir room count? _No, they mean like have you paid to see one at a strip club._ Oh. Have you? _Let's just say I'll never waste my allowance like that again._

 **33\. Bought sexual aids?** S won't let me. She always pays for them. _Great. I'll never live_ _that_ _down when Q reads this._

 **34\. Used sexual aids?** Satan? _Yes, Ducky?_ Why would you buy sexual aids but not use them? _That…is a really, really good question._ It was? _Yes._ :D

 **35\. Seduced someone?** Yeppers! But I think I lost my powers. _Why's that?_ Cause Kurt turned me down even though he was dressing in farmer clothes. _Yeah…we need to talk about that…._

 **36\. MADE your fantasy come true?** Well…usually I just tell Satan. Is that making it come true? _I guess._ Yay, I don't lose this one! :)

 **37\. Caused someone who was straight or gay to become bisexual?** No, but S did me. :D _Really?_ Yep!

**Favorite:**

**38\. Position?** I like the missionary. How about you, S? _I'll show you._

 **39\. Dirty phrase?** That was fun. :) _Thank you._ I like it when you sing to me. _I thought you liked dirty talk._ I do, but I like the singing more. _God, I'm dating Man Hands._ We're dating? _…No._

 **40\. Fantasy?** I like the one where I'm a princess and you're my knight. How about you, S? _We've never done the princess and the knight._ I thought they were talking about fantasies in my head. :/ _You never told me about that one._ Well, now you know! :) _I wonder where we could get a sword…._

**Last Few:**

**41\. Did you like this questionnaire?** It was fun. :D I won a lot. _I still think it deserves to be set on fire and then fed to a shark, but since I scored (and more than Q—in your face), I'll let it go._

 **42\. Will you pass this on?** Are we, S? _Probably not._ We could give it to Artie and Tina. :) _Yeah. It might be fun watching their skin turn purple and their eyes bulge out like Sesame Street muppets…._ Satan? _Yes, Ducky?_ Luv you. :) _…Luv you, too._


End file.
